Scenes and Collars

So I have given you the start up to my first scene with Kai. Once again if you have been reading her blog you already know a great deal about how it was planned out. We talked over a lot of what was acceptable and what wasn’t, what we wanted to do etc. So in the interest of time I am going to skip over any of the specifics of that. I will only say that I think that pre-scene conversations and planning sessions are definitely a requirement for first time partners. Not only does it help the dominant get ideas, it also allows for limits, you can also learn about any medical things that could be important to the scene and so on.

If I can I like to very symbolically start a scene. I enjoy starting the scene in a way that removes the submissive’s control, whether that is collaring them, requiring them to kneel, or even choosing their clothing and making them model it. This first scene with Kai was started by collaring her. She had purchased a very pretty collar on the trip before the one out to visit me. Lucky for me it was a locking collar, I find that when you lock a collar on a submissive it is more impactful. It makes it even better when you can lock the collar in a seductive way, kiss the back of your submissive’s neck as you close the collar and lock it, make it something personal to the both of you. Now before you get all excited about what you think will be a piece of erotica I am going to disappoint you because I going to talk about collars.

For many a collar is a fashion statement or something you use for control. While it can be all these things to me there is a difference between a collar and my collar. A collar is nothing more than a piece of leather or cloth that you wrap around your neck. Whether you use it for a scene or as the perfect accessory to your goth night out it is still just a collar. My collar is more akin to a promise right or an engagement. If I offer you my collar then it is a very serious commitment from me. It isn’t just a piece of leather anymore it becomes a symbol of my commitment to you. It will be something we will pick out together or I will make for you. There is just so much that is implied by giving someone my collar. In this I might be different than many dominants. I have seen some offer their collar to anyone off the cuff with very little thought about it. Training collars and my collar as also different, I have been asked to train a submissive in the past with no intention of them staying with me. I have never actually done it but I have considered it and made sure that I knew what the difference was between a training collar and my collar.

I think I have impressed upon you what a collar means to me. So perhaps I will leave you there to think about the meaning of what might come.