The First of Many

This will be the first post of what I am hoping will become many. I figure I will start with outlining my past. The problem with starting with the past is it is often difficult to form a beginning. Where does the beginning truly start? For the purpose of this blog I guess I will start the beginning when I started thinking a fair amount about BDSM. But even that isn't a good place for the beginning simply because thinking about things that are kinky happened at a young age, and by young I mean around the time that I was starting to date and be interested in the opposite gender. But, when you are young you convince yourself that things like that are wrong, or rather others convince you of it. The idea that you would want to be with a partner that wanted, on some level, to be controlled is something that you really shouldn't be thinking about or wanting. The idea of getting pleasure from causing others pain is extremely frowned upon, as is the receiving of pleasure from pain. Things like abuse and domestic violence come to mind when anyone thinks about someone liking to cause pain. Society seems to instill in you from an early age that things like being a sadist make you a bad person.
Look at me, rambling on about philosophy without actually doing what I set out to in this first post. So this beginning will be in college, simply because it was then that I learned to be okay with the thoughts I was having. I was in a vanilla relationship at the time, with a person that had never done anything "out of the ordinary". Early in my freshman year I learned that there was a club on campus that was into things of this sort. Though in the end, I never did really attend their meetings more than a handful of times.
I found my comfort in the online community, this was because it was a place where I could learn at my own speed and in my own way. This isn't to say that I trusted everyone I met and never spoke about it to those of my friends I knew were interested. It is just that I prefer to learn by listening and reading more in the background. You have to deal with less "experts" that way, and as I have found in the now eight years that I have been learning and listening, there are a lot of "experts" that really don't know what they are talking about.
In a very casual way I started to suggest things to my then partner. At first it was in the form of toys, vibrators, dildos, and the lot. It advanced to things that were a little "kinkier" vibrators you wear in public, or the first set of cuffs I owned (a rather interesting pair as they had flames on the cuffs themselves and were cloth). Regrettably, I quickly hit my partners kink ceiling and things became interesting, I wanted to continue learning and delving deeper into what I wanted and the things that I wanted to do, she on the other hand was more than satisfied with the occasional act of being cuffed to a bed and playing with vibrators. During my time in college there were several points that this relationship went on "break" during those I soaked up everything I could about BDSM and even managed to find an internet submissive. In retrospect it was pretty solidly a joke and I would never do an internet relationship again, but at the time it was new and interesting and exciting. Through the internet community I have made many friends whom I wouldn't trade for anything. I have had my share of drama and foolish things as well. While still in college you could say the two "relationships" I had were very low on the kink scale. The involved scarf bondage(in one) and a lot of biting. You could say there was an element of power exchange in them because the kink was always one sided, but they never truly got to the level of Dom/sub space.
I think that is where I will leave you for the moment. Perhaps in the next update, which may come later today, I will go into the post college years where I got more into real time (RT) relationships. I think you will be more interested in hearing about that part anyways. For now this is the background you get.