More on My Beginnings

So when I last left you we were at when I left college. At this time I was back with the partner I entered college with. But, that didn't last terribly long and there was still little kink involved. So we will just jump to the things that happened post the break up. I immediately jumped back into the kink scene, but in Salt Lake City, Utah the scene is tough to find. So I had a couple of play partners that were into light wax use, flogging, and things that were a little deeper than my previous partner but nothing all that deep.

Each time I found someone a little deeper into the kink I seemed to find my rhythm and want to get further into it. When I found someone that liked being flogged I made my first flogger. I spent hours practicing with it to control the tails. I figured out what weighting I liked, and started to think about the next flogger I would make. It was around the time I was making my floggers that I got serious about a relationship with a submissive. We had first met online, in some ways it is easier to meet new people in the kink world online. I think this is a result of the fact that the internet adds an element of anonymity which in many places is important to kinks. I know at the time I was very much hiding my kinks from my friends.

Okay so on to the relationship. In the beginning it was all I had ever asked for, it fit very much into what I wanted, or so it seemed. I thought that the two of us were growing together, we pulled down each others walls and started building. I feel that when you are in a BDSM relationship the two partners grow together. They come to depend on one another for certain types of support and sensations. It is what makes kink relationships seem deeper than my vanilla ones. There is an element of connection that was lacking in all of my other relationships. It was fantastic, it was the first time I really truly experienced a different space during a scene. It was also the first time I had to deal with Top Drop (Which I am sure I will go into later.), but things seemed really good for a period of time. Then the unthinkable happened, having come from a family that was religious and very controlling she started to question her choices in a BDSM relationship. In the end this led to her cheating on me. That was probably the most difficult break up I have ever gone through. It felt as though parts of my personality and who I was were shattering. Needless to say it was a difficult recovery, but with the help of my friends I made it through it.

On a tangent, sometime in that relationship I outed myself to my friends. It was during a party when I had a little too much to drink. They started talking about a sex toy party and I was keeping up with the conversation. Then I started talking about more sex toys and how you use them and what I have done with it, they kept asking the questions and I kept answering them. Before I knew it they were asking me about BDSM and kink things and it was a bit late for me to say I had no idea. So that was the way I was outed to my friends, it was a pretty good way because it made me learn that more of them were interested than I would have imagined. I have since had many conversations with them about kink and toys. I even found my next kink partner in their midst.

A good friend of mine had several female friends that were interested in kink. He fancied himself interested, but in the end he is more submissive than dominant and his female friends were of the same persuasion. I was introduced to my most recent disaster of a relationship through him. It started out good, he introduced us at a gathering of friends and she later came to a party with those same friends. By the end of the party I had her kneeling at my feet and calling me Sir. We talked for awhile about interests what she knew and what she wanted before we ever got together and started to play. Things seemed to line up well, we liked the same things we both wanted to learn and grow. It was a good arrangement, she later found out she had the opportunity to spend a year abroad. We decided to keep things going and try the long distance for a year. Not a couple months into the trip she was out with another man, a week or so later they were together and I was stuck holding nothing yet again.

This pretty much brings me to to the present relationship wise. I had left for grad school in August of 2009, just before that I had spoken to a friend from college and she said she wanted to come out and visit me. Not only did she want to come out but she also said she missed kink and wanted to scene with me while she was out for her visit. Now we are both taking it slow and working our way into every aspect of relationships. This is my experience in that journey, you can find hers here if you would like to see it.